Skip to main content

Questions to ask a family lawyer

Updated September 30, 2026

At your first consultation, ask how the lawyer would approach your case, what it's likely to cost, how they bill, how quickly they reply and who else will work on your file. Later, your questions change with each stage of your case. Below is a list for your first meeting, then questions grouped by stage. Print it or save it and bring it with you.

For your first consultation

  • How many years have you practised family law, and what percentage of your work is family law?
  • Have you handled cases similar to mine? What were the outcomes?
  • What is your preferred approach: negotiation, mediation, collaborative law, or litigation?
  • How do you bill for your services? What is your hourly rate and retainer amount?
  • Who else in your office might work on my case, and what are their rates?
  • How do you handle communication? Can I expect email responses within 24 to 48 hours?
  • What is your honest assessment of my situation, including potential challenges?
  • How long do you expect my case to take from start to resolution?
  • What can I do to keep my legal costs down?
  • Are there any alternatives to hiring you full time, such as unbundled or limited scope services?

Keep your questions with your timeline.

Your Uncoupled timeline saves questions and notes for each step.

Build my timeline

Questions for: Understanding Your Situation

Acknowledge the end of the relationship

  • What should I do right now to document my separation date in a way that would hold up legally?
  • Can my spouse and I stay in the same house during the separation period? What would a court need to see as proof we are living separate lives?
  • Is there anything I should stop doing immediately on social media or with shared finances?
  • Are there any urgent legal protections I should put in place before my spouse knows I am planning to separate?

Understand the difference between separation and divorce

  • What specific limitation periods apply to my property and support claims, and when do they start running?
  • I am common law, not married. How does that change my property rights in this province?
  • Do I need a separation agreement before I can file for divorce, or are they separate processes?
  • What happens to my spouse's rights to my estate if I die before the divorce is finalized?

Understand the grounds for divorce in Canada

  • Which ground applies to my situation?
  • When does my separation count as starting, and what should I keep as proof of the date?
  • Can I file now, before we've been apart for a year?
  • Does living under the same roof affect my case?

Begin living separate and apart

  • What is the complete list of financial documents I should gather, and should I make copies of everything before telling my spouse I want to separate?
  • My name is not on the house title. Does that affect my right to stay in the home or my share of its value?
  • We have significant joint debt. How do I protect myself if my spouse stops making payments on shared obligations?
  • My spouse is self-employed and I suspect they underreport income. What tools are available to uncover the real numbers?
  • Should I freeze joint accounts or credit cards? What is allowed and what would hurt me legally?

Identify the legal issues you need to address

  • Walk me through how property division works in our province. What is the formula, and what assets are included?
  • I received an inheritance during our marriage but deposited it into our joint account. Is it still excluded?
  • I am worried my spouse will sell off investments or drain accounts before we get to court. What can I do right now?
  • What is the difference between equalization and actually dividing property? Do I get to keep the house, or does everything get split?
  • Based on our parenting arrangement during the marriage, what is the likely starting point for parenting time in my situation?
  • My spouse has been controlling and emotionally abusive. How do I raise family violence concerns in a way that will be taken seriously by the court?
  • I may need to move for work in the next year. What are the legal requirements for relocating with the children?
  • At what point should we involve the children's views, and is there a process for that like a Voice of the Child report?
  • What does 'maximum parenting time' mean in practice, and how does the court determine what is appropriate?

Secure and copy important documents

  • Are there any mandatory programs or steps I need to complete before my case can proceed in our court?
  • How backed up is the court we would be filing in, and what does that mean for my timeline?
  • Are there any local dispute resolution services or family justice programs you would recommend before we go the court route?
  • What legal aid or reduced-cost options exist if the legal fees become a concern?

Questions for: Getting Legal Guidance

Research your resolution options

  • Given my specific situation, the level of conflict, the assets involved, and whether there are children, which resolution method would you recommend and why?
  • If we start with mediation and it does not work, what do we lose? Can we still go to court with the same information?
  • My spouse is difficult to deal with. Is mediation actually safe and effective when there is a power imbalance?
  • What does 'trying dispute resolution' actually mean under the Divorce Act? Do I need to prove I attempted it before a court will hear my case?
  • How do you decide when it is time to stop negotiating and start preparing for court?

Consult a family lawyer

  • What percentage of your practice is dedicated to family law, and how many cases similar to mine have you handled?
  • If we need to go to court, are you comfortable litigating? What is your trial experience?
  • Who else will work on my file, what are their billing rates, and will I be notified when someone other than you bills time to my case?
  • What is your realistic estimate for the total cost of my case from start to finish, and what would change that number?

Retain a lawyer

  • Based on everything I have told you, what is your honest assessment of the likely outcome? What is the best case, worst case, and most probable scenario?
  • What is the single most important thing I should avoid doing between now and when this is resolved?
  • How will we communicate: email, phone, portal? What is your typical response time, and how do I reach you if something urgent comes up?
  • What information and documents do you need from me to get started, and in what order of priority?
  • Will you provide a written retainer agreement that clearly spells out all fees, billing practices, and what happens if I want to change lawyers?

Questions for: Financial Disclosure

Gather all financial documents

  • Can you give me a prioritized checklist of exactly what documents to gather, so I can work through it systematically?
  • Some financial records are in my spouse's name or at their workplace. How do I access those?
  • I suspect my spouse has bank accounts or investments I don't know about. What are the options for uncovering hidden assets?
  • Does my obligation to disclose include assets held in other countries?
  • What is the valuation date for our assets in this province, is it the date we separated or some other date?

Value the matrimonial home and other properties

  • Which financial statement form do I need, and can you walk me through the sections before I start filling it in?
  • How should I handle sections where I genuinely don't know the exact number? Can I estimate, or is that a problem?
  • My income varies significantly year to year. How should I present that accurately without disadvantaging myself?
  • We have a defined benefit pension. Do I need to get an actuarial valuation, and what does that typically cost?
  • What date of marriage assets do I need to document, and what records from that long ago are actually available?

Complete your Financial Statement

  • My spouse gave me their financial statement, but the numbers don't match their lifestyle. How do I challenge that?
  • How long should I wait for complete disclosure before we take formal steps to compel it?
  • What is involved in a Questioning or Examination for Discovery, and when does it make sense to use one?
  • If my spouse is hiding income through their business, can we get a forensic accountant involved? What does that cost?
  • What happens if we reach a deal and I later discover my spouse hid significant assets?

Complete the Certificate of Financial Disclosure

  • Which of our assets actually need professional valuations versus ones we can agree on informally?
  • Should we try to agree on a single valuator for the business, or is it better to each hire our own?
  • My spouse has stock options that have not vested yet. Are those part of the marital property?
  • Who pays for these valuations, and is there a way to keep the costs manageable?
  • What happens if we disagree on the value of the house? Do we each get an appraisal?

Exchange financial disclosure with your spouse

  • I have reviewed my spouse's disclosure and something does not add up. What are my next steps?
  • Are there any red flags in my spouse's financial statement that I should be aware of?
  • Now that we have both sides' disclosure, what is the likely range for equalization payment or property division?
  • Is there anything in my disclosure that could be challenged or that I should prepare to explain?

Questions for: Negotiation and Resolution

Negotiate through lawyers

  • Based on our financial disclosure, what is the realistic range for child support and spousal support in my situation?
  • Can you run the numbers on keeping the house versus selling? What does each scenario look like financially over the next 5 years?
  • Are there tax-smart ways to structure the settlement that would benefit both of us?
  • What Section 7 expenses should we be thinking about, and how do we decide what is reasonable?
  • If I accept a lump sum instead of ongoing spousal support, what are the pros and cons?

Consider mediation

  • Should we make a formal offer with cost consequences, or start with informal without-prejudice discussions?
  • What is a reasonable opening position that is strong but won't shut down negotiations?
  • We agree on most things but are stuck on one issue. Are there creative solutions we haven't considered?
  • At what point do the costs of continuing to negotiate exceed the value of what we are fighting over?
  • Can you explain the cost consequences of a formal offer so I can make an informed decision about strategy?

Consider collaborative law

  • Can you walk me through every section of the agreement so I understand what I am signing and why each clause is there?
  • Is there anything in this agreement that could be challenged later, and how do we strengthen it?
  • What happens if my spouse does not follow the agreement? How do I enforce it?
  • Should we include a review clause for spousal support, or lock in a fixed amount and duration?
  • My spouse's lawyer drafted the agreement. What should I be watching out for that might not be in my best interest?

Draft a Separation Agreement

  • What am I giving up by signing this agreement, and is there anything I should negotiate harder on before I sign?
  • How will this agreement be enforced if my spouse does not follow through on their obligations?
  • Should we file this agreement with the court, and what is the advantage of doing so?
  • What happens if my circumstances change significantly after I sign? Can I modify the agreement?
  • Is there a cooling-off period after I sign, or is it immediately binding?

Sign the Separation Agreement

  • Before I sign, is there anything that has changed since we negotiated this agreement that I should be aware of?
  • What is the process for filing this agreement with the court?
  • What are the immediate next steps after signing? What needs to happen first?
  • If my spouse signs but then refuses to follow through on transferring property or making payments, what do I do?

Questions for: Filing for Divorce

Confirm the one-year separation period

  • Does our separation date meet the one year requirement, or do we need to wait longer?
  • We lived under the same roof for part of the separation. Does that count, and what evidence do we need?
  • Should we file the application now or wait until the full year has passed?
  • Is there any strategic advantage to using adultery or cruelty as the ground instead of separation?

Choose and prepare your divorce application

  • Can we file a joint application, or are there reasons we should file separately?
  • Are there any claims I should include in the application now even if we have not fully resolved them yet?
  • What is the court filing fee, and what other costs should I expect at this stage?
  • Is there anything about the timing of filing that could affect my financial position, like pension valuation dates or tax implications?

File your application with the court

  • Is everything in order for filing, or are there any documents still outstanding?
  • How long after filing before my spouse needs to be served?
  • What happens after we file? What is the next step in the process?
  • Are there any common mistakes at the filing stage that I should watch out for?

Serve the divorce papers

  • How will we serve my spouse, and what happens if they try to avoid being served?
  • Once served, what is the most likely sequence of events and timeline?
  • If my spouse files a counter-application, does that change our strategy?
  • Are there any interim orders we should seek while the case is pending, like interim support or parenting arrangements?

Wait for the response period

  • My spouse has not responded yet. What are the possible reasons, and what happens next?
  • If my spouse does not respond at all, how do we proceed with the uncontested divorce?
  • What should I be doing during this waiting period to prepare for the next stage?
  • Is there anything that could delay the process at this point, and how do we avoid it?

Questions for: Court Process

Attend any mandatory information or education program

  • When and where do I attend the mandatory program, and how do I register?
  • What happens at the program, and how long does it take?
  • Does my spouse have to attend as well? What if they refuse?
  • Once I complete the program, what is the next step in the court process?

First Appearance

  • Do I need to attend in person, or can this be done virtually?
  • Should we ask for any interim orders, and when?
  • What will happen at this step in my court, and who will I see?
  • How should I prepare, and is there anything I should bring?

Case Conference

  • What should our case conference brief focus on to make the best first impression?
  • Can the judge order interim support or parenting arrangements at the case conference?
  • What if we reach a partial agreement at the conference? Can that be made into an order?
  • How should I behave in front of the judge? Do I speak, or does my lawyer handle everything?

Motions (if needed)

  • Do we need to bring any motions at this point, or can we achieve what we need through negotiation?
  • What are the costs of bringing a motion, and what are the chances of success?
  • If my spouse brings a motion against me, what is the process for responding?
  • Is there a risk that the judge's decision on the motion will set a precedent for the final outcome?

Settlement Conference

  • How should I prepare for the settlement conference, and what is our goal?
  • If the judge gives a non-binding assessment that is not in my favour, what does that mean for our strategy?
  • What authority do I need to give you to settle at the conference? Should I be prepared to make final decisions that day?
  • If we don't settle here, what are the realistic costs and timeline to get to trial?

Trial Scheduling Conference

  • How many days do we expect the trial to take?
  • What is the estimated wait time for a trial date in our court?
  • What do we need to have ready before the scheduling conference?
  • Is there any chance of settling before the trial date, and should we keep that option open?

Trial Management Conference

  • Are there any last-minute issues or surprises we need to address before trial?
  • Has the judge given any indication of how they might decide the case?
  • What agreed facts can we present to streamline the trial?
  • Should we make one final settlement offer before going to trial?

Trial

  • Honestly, what are our chances at trial, and what is the range of likely outcomes?
  • What will trial cost me, and how does that compare to the difference between our last offer and theirs?
  • How do I prepare for cross-examination? What will my spouse's lawyer try to do?
  • If things are not going well during the trial, can we still settle partway through?
  • When can I expect the judge's decision after the trial ends?

Questions for: Divorce Order and Moving Forward

Obtain the Divorce Order

  • When will we receive the divorce order, and in what form?
  • Does the order include everything we agreed to, or are there separate orders for support and parenting?
  • Is there anything in the order I should double check for accuracy before the appeal period begins?
  • What do I need to do with the order once I receive it?

Wait for the 31-day appeal period

  • Is there any risk my spouse will appeal, and what would that mean for the timeline?
  • What happens during the appeal period? Do I need to do anything?
  • If there is an appeal, does that reverse the divorce?
  • Once the 31 days pass, what is the next step?

Obtain your Certificate of Divorce

  • How do I request the Certificate of Divorce, and how long does it take to receive?
  • How many copies should I get, and is there a cost per copy?
  • Do I need the certificate to start implementing the property and support terms of our agreement?
  • Is there anything else I need from the court before my file is closed?

Update your legal and financial documents

  • Can you provide me with a complete checklist of everyone I need to notify about the divorce?
  • What is the process for transferring the house title, splitting pensions, and transferring RRSPs without triggering tax?
  • How do I register the support order with the provincial enforcement agency?
  • Should I update my will before or after the property transfers are complete?
  • What is the name change process in our province, and how long does it take?

Implement the terms of your agreement or order

  • Under what specific circumstances can child support or spousal support be changed in the future?
  • My circumstances have changed. What are my obligations and options?
  • My former spouse and I want to change the parenting schedule informally. Is that okay, or should we formalize it?
  • Do I still need a lawyer going forward, or are there things I can handle on my own?
  • Is there a standard annual process for exchanging income information and recalculating support?

Keep your questions with your timeline.

Your Uncoupled timeline saves questions and notes for each step.

Build my timeline